Greetings, Present and Future Subjects of His Transparent Majesty,

Yes, it has been some time since our last little update... Events in the Empire have not progressed exactly as we have wished, and a certain amount of running amok was called for.

Nonetheless, despite the intrusions into our affairs by the Minions of the False Government™, esprecially the League of Omnibenevolence™, we have still managed to advance our ever so delightful agenda. Not only is Operation: Onyx Wolverine going well, as the enemies of the Conspiracy will soon know, but we have also had great success with Operation: Titanium Dodo. And, then, of course, was my successful punative expedition against the Dominion of Canada... and they said it was foolish to build robots out of ice! (Granted, I shan't be using them to conquer Brazil any time soon, but that is why I have the... but, no, it is better left as a surprise.)

All in all, things are still rosy for us in the Hidden City, so you may wish to prepare yourselves for Total and Abject Surrender™.

After all, you wouldn't want to find out what my little Thermo-Reduction Ray™ does to living tissue, would you?

Sincerely,